


Can the Sinner get a Happy Ending?

by PoliMollyKari



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, cc and lelouch are bickering All the Time, mostly suzakus, nunnally tries to redeem her brother, rewriting my old work, their dynamic is so nice in this fic i swear i love writing it, who doesnt really crave to be redeemed anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoliMollyKari/pseuds/PoliMollyKari
Summary: Nunnally decides to clear Lelouch's name and Lelouch - conveniently - around that time decides to visit his sister in disguise, because he just misses her so much. but what happens when he learns that people for some reason can’t remember him as a bloody emperor?
Relationships: C.C./Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia
Comments: 24
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fanfic is actually inspired by my own idea that i had and written when i was 13. after rewatching code geass again this year almost after a decade i decided to write for this fandom again and i also looked up some of my Oldest works which included this idea. it was a finished fic and had like 15k words and consisted mainly of poor writing, dialogues and horrible heteronormativity, but the core idea was very interesting nonetheless.  
> so i decided to experiment and just simply "re-write" my own fanfic from 2013, changing basically *everything* except the main idea for the plot.  
> and i think so far its going really well and I'm actually really proud of this work!  
> so please, enjoy!

“Nunnally, I do not agree with this,” Suzaku said firmly, looking the empress straight in the eye, brows furrowed together. **  
**

“Suzaku-kun, I understand why you’re upset, but this will not harm the people in any capacity. I do this for my brother,” she stated just as strongly, not daring to shift her gaze elsewhere from his emerald pearls.

“But that doesn’t matter, using this power is just wrong!” he was almost yelling now, clutching his hand in the fist.

Whenever someone was talking about geass or even thought about using it, he always had a severe reaction to that topic, probably due to all the trauma and suffering that it caused.

Kururugi has never had a fight with Nunnally yet, they had a calm relationship full of mutual love and trust. Despite her being Lelouch’s sister, she was never like him in any sense. And Suzaku feared the day once he’ll start to see the similarities. Despite loving his friend beyond any measure, his actions and thinking were oftentimes just.. extreme, to say the least. Extreme and dangerous, he was never supposed to gain the power he got ahold of. That’s what was going through the Japanese’s mind as they were arguing with Nunnally.

She looked at him wide-eyed and he could almost be able to see how the wall of trust they’d built together cracked ever so lightly, as the young empress lowered her gaze and sighed.

“Zero, this is an order. Tell Lloyd to have it ready by tomorrow,” there was such unfamiliar coldness in her tone that it made Suzaku stop in his tracks as she turned around in the wheelchair and started to drive away from him.

It was unfamiliar from her, yet.. so familiar from Lelouch.

There was hardly a day when he didn’t think of him. Either cursing him or praying to him to come back.

He didn’t wear a mask right now, because they were talking in the empress’ private rooms where no servants had access to, so he could be himself around here, yet.. yet she addressed him as Zero.

Suzaku’s green eyes shifted slowly, now looking at his feet.

He was clothed in the purple costume with gold lines, purple gloves and a white puff scarf tucked into the shirt. He hated it. He hated all of it. Every single fibre. 

He fell to his knees, breath catching in his throat and he felt the familiar dizziness coming into motion.

He was having a panic attack.

It wasn’t anything new to him and Suzaku found out that the best way to fight it is to let it flow. Let it consume him and shiver uncontrollably, salty tears falling from his eyes onto the red carpet as he bowed his head to the floor.

He was alone possibly on the whole floor so there would be no one watching. No one acknowledging how much pain this human being has to endure, when his only wish is to die.. and when he can’t possibly even do that.

When he finally felt the convulsions stop and dizziness drifted away he sat upon the ground, lifting a hand to his face with a sigh that echoed through the richly decorated halls.

“What a fucking day,” the man whispered to himself, slowly getting up and taking the mask of Zero, putting it on, feeling the material close surely around his head so no one could possibly guess his true identity anymore.

The stare that nobody could see was deprived of any emotion. Now he was just a faceless person with a mission from the empress.

He went straight to Lloyd’s engineering wing, passing the painting of himself in the white suit as the pilot of the Lancelot, a piece of black cloth at the side of the golden frame, meaning that he’s still being mourned by the genius technician.

“Nunnally vi Britannia demands the device to be ready by tomorrow,” he said sternly, never adjusting his cape as Lelouch always did - a waste of time and a touch that’s soaked with pretentiousness.

“Of course, Zero, your wish is my command! It’s almost ready anyways,” the engineer answered, sitting alone by the table where he continued to work on some cables and connections to various pieces of metal.

He was offered to gain at least a dozen of good workers that could help him in his experiments but earl declined, saying that there’s nothing much to invent without his beautiful pilot and no grandiose war going on between Britannia and Japan anymore.

Suzaku just curtly nodded at that, staying watching him for a moment longer than necessary, just wishing he could reveal to him who he really is and that his pilot is still alive and well and could try some of his new knightmares if he ever makes some.

“Lloyd-san, it’s break time!” suddenly rung a high pitched voice through the empty working space as Cecile came closer to both of them with a little tray rattling with silverware and some food on the surface.

“Oh, Zero, I didn’t notice you come in,” she said sheepishly and smiled, pulling the tray towards him a little in an offering.

“Don’t you want to stay and have lunch with us?” she asked in her sweet voice, the one she uses when she wants to make a good impression, but Suzaku just sighed.

These two were the only people who didn’t really judge him. Even when they didn’t know his true identity, it almost seemed like they were friends like they were before. He liked spending time here, but possibly couldn’t keep them company in eating, since.. he couldn’t really take off his helmet.

“Cecile-san, you know that I mustn’t reveal my identity, hence I can’t keep you company at lunch. Only if I sat by the table without taking a single bite,” he said, a soft smile finally breaking to his lips, making the corners of his mouth go up just a little bit.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, finally realising why this offer wouldn’t work out, but then she said “oh” again and quickly made a beeline towards the main doors, locking them.

“But what if! I locked the main entrance so nobody could come in while we’re eating,” she started enthusiastically and then made another small run towards the light switch, looking with hope at her boss and then the masked man, “and we would also eat in pitch darkness, so you could finally enjoy something with acquaintances, like a normal person?” she smiled and then blinked comically, correcting herself and laughing nervously, “I’m not saying that you’re not normal, of course, I’m just. I realise that it must be hard to be wearing a mask all the time, mustn’t it?” she finished carefully, biting her lower lip.

“Cecile-kun, you’re making Zero intrigued, I think!” Lloyd barked a loud laugh, looking over at his ex-subordinate, “What do you say, Zero? I promise you no peeking!” he teased and got closer to him, wiggling his brows.

Suzaku couldn’t help himself but felt his smile growing wider at that suggestion. There really was no risk, right?

Did Cecile want to try it for a while now? Because it seems like a plan that has been thought through, after all.

_If I keep shielding myself from others I might as well go insane sooner or later... What’s the harm in one, pitch-black lunch, right?.._

Suzaku thought to himself and then nodded.

“Okay, why not?” he said, making Cecile excitedly jump in the air and Lloyd lean deeper into his chair with a pleased hum.

“Alright! On the count of three, I’ll turn off the lights and then... hopefully make it to you guys without any problem!” she explained and on the count of three she really turned off the lights.

Suzaku wasn’t rushing in taking off his helmet, at first waiting for Cecile to make it safely to their little table. It.. was really dark. 

“Cecile-san, please be careful,” he said, now being kind of nervous for his friend.

“I’m okayyy!” at the end of the sentence she yelped, because her outstretched arm collided with Zero’s mask, making a low thud, “I.. suppose I made it to the table, right?” she laughed and Suzaku gave out a chuckle as well, carefully putting her hand aside, so she could find the chair to sit on in this ridiculous darkness.

“Okay, so.. I’ll just warn you that I won’t be speaking while we’re eating, because I have a voice modifier inside that distorts my original voice,” Kururugi explained carefully, waiting for their reactions.

“Ahhh, so you can’t be tracked even by voice recognition, that’s very smart!” mused Lloyd, already, what it seemed, with a mouthful of food, “Or you’re someone who we know, so you don’t want to be recognised! But that’s less probable than the first point,” he concluded to himself, now apparently drinking something.

“I won’t comment on that, Lloyd-san,” Suzaku said and then sighed, “Itadakimasu.”

And with that, the only sound in the room despite the munching on the food was the noise of Zero’s mask unzipping and being put near him on the ground.

Japanese inhaled sharply, filling his chest with some fresh air, even though they were inside.

He finally scratched his nose and then rubbed his eyes, using all of the time he has without a mask. Being without it in public was a really rare occasion, so he felt ecstatic, thinking that.. maybe one day his life might get better.

Once he took a big bite of some veggie balls that were on the plate in front of him, he already wanted to say how delicious it is, especially compared to first things she ever cooked for them, but then stopped himself, instead just gulping down the food.

He noticed that the other two were silent as well, probably honouring the fact that one of this trio cannot talk. How nice of them, truly.

During the whole process, he was careful of sounds to be able to in time put a mask back on if needed, but nothing really happened. He only heard some clicking, as if someone was taking glasses on and off two times, but other than that, nothing. It was probably Lloyd messing around anyways.

He sighed with relief when he finished, reluctant to put the mask back on. Despite being in the dark for so long, his eyes didn’t adjust and he still couldn’t see anything, probably because the place was really devoid of all light at the moment.

Then he shook his head to himself, thinking that revealing his identity would be too risky at the current situation, so he put the mack back on, making a clicking sound in the dark.

“I’ll turn the light back on,” Suzaku said and luckily didn’t collide with anything on his way there.

Once the light was back on, the trio grunted in unison, their eyes certainly not being able to absorb this all at once.

He didn’t sit back down to the portable table but just stood next to it, looking at Cecile.

“Thank you for the meal, it was very delicious,” he said, smiling at her.

“I’m glad it was,” when she lifted her dark blue eyes at him, it looked like she’s been crying, so he got instantly worried.

“Are you okay?!” he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I am, thank you, it’s just the sudden light,” she laughed weakly in response, placing her gentle palm on top of his hand, squeezing a little.

Suzaku then pulled away and nodded, still with a warm aftertaste of being treated like an actual friend or an acquaintance.

“I’ll get going then. See you tomorrow, Lloyd-san,” Zero turned away on his heels and made his way from the engineering lab.

“Cecile-kun, the tears weren’t from the lighting, were they?” once they were alone, Lloyd looked at her with a pleased grin, swiftly putting his hand into her pocket and taking night vision glasses out of there, waving them in the air in front of her, “Who is he?”

“I’m sorry, Lloyd-san, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you,” she said with a warm smile, a single tear falling down her cheek, “but he is a good person. We can definitely trust him.”

.

.

Life went at a significantly slower pace in the countryside than in the city. Nobody was busy... there actually was **nobody**. Only him and C.C.

The perfect solitude life for two sinners who wanted to make their wishes come true.

Lelouch was just in the middle of harvesting some plants from their little farm, taking breaks every so often because his physique didn’t improve even in conditions like this.

The strew hat oh his head protected him from the angry sun that was shining through the eternity of summer in these lands.

“C.C., can you please get me a container for these? I think it’s better to grow them inside, they’re dying out there on all this heat,” ex-emperor barged into their house with two plants in his hands, taken out of the ground with the roots, waiting for help from the green-haired companion he had by his side.

“Uh-huh, sure,” she put away the knitting equipment and lowered her bare legs from the table she was resting on, getting up to her feet, making a beeline for the back room, where the junk of all sorts was stored. For situations like this.

She looked around the whole room, noticing old Zero suit just hanging by the wall, some markers and scissors peeking out of the pockets. She sighed and lowered her olive eyes, finally finding what her partner has asked her for.

With two brown-ish pots in hands, she went back and put them on the floor in from of the skinny man, returning to the backroom once again to get some fresh soil for the poor plants.

Then she came back for the second time, plopping next to the bag with terra, tearing it open and pouring the soil into the pots.

Lelouch was looking at her this whole time as if exploring every millimetre of her pale skin. He did it often now. Paying more attention to the details and that made him even the better deduction master than he’s been before.

Sherlock Holmes was onto something, truly.

He could now finally put the plants into their new home now, patting the ground with his elegant fingers, making sure they’re steady in it. 

Then he placed them next to the dining table and wanted to go out again.

“Lelouch,” simply said C.C., taking her knitting needles in hands alongside the purple yarn which for the most part was being dragged behind her as she followed him outside.

“Hm?” was the only answer she got, as Lelouch continued taking care of the garden, completely immersed in the activity.

Or maybe his mind was a thousand miles away...

“I miss you,” she stated, still knitting, kind of furiously, even though her face was unchanging.

“What? I’m right here,” he chuckled, his hands firmly in the ground, making sure that the plants have enough space to grow and expand.

“No. The old you, the one who was always in motion, who didn’t let life stop him, the one who made me feel like life is a game worth winning,” she said, her hands slowing down in the tempo of her activity, “I feel like you’re losing yourself too.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment after that, working like some gardener, brows furrowed together.

“But we won, C.C. This might not be the life that you nor I want to live, but that’s a small price to pay for the world to stay in peace, don’t you think?” he finally met her eyes, lifting his amethysts from the greenery.

“What about Nunnally? Don’t you wanna see her?” there was no hesitation in her voice as the man got up from his knees and pointed a finger at her in a warning manner.

“I told you to never say her name aloud..” he whispered, no signs of anger on his face, only sadness pooling in his dark, beautiful eyes.

“So you just want to forget her? Or what? What’s your plan?” she stood on her tiptoes now to get closer to his face, talking in the same semi-whispering way, not willing to step down.

This kind of rivalry was the thing that kept these two going in the direst times when they just wanted to fuck it all and return to the old swing of things.

“I have no plan,” said Lelouch so closely to her lips that at some point of his phrase they touched and he then pulled away, making his way back to the house.

“Hm. What a sore loser,” she mused with a smile on her face, following him and plopping herself on the couch, knitting away.

For the rest of the day they didn’t exchange a single word.

.

.

Suzaku was dreading today. The day started already badly from the beginning. 

He woke up with a headache and outside was pouring rain, attacking large windows in his private rooms, the sound echoing through the space that lacked furniture.

Despite having amazing athletic skills, the curly-haired boy was still very skinny for his height and his depression often made him feel like he doesn’t even need or deserve to eat anything.

He sat on the bed, white shirt loose on his shoulders, shuddering to himself.

It was so dark. And lonely. Every day was the same. Lonely, lonely, lonely. Alone. Echo drifting through the void of his existence, springing off the rich, gold decorated walls which mean absolutely nothing to him.

He hated to reside in the royal palace but he would hate even more to be somewhere alone.

Here he at least has Nunnally… someone who knows completely and unconditionally who he is.

His first plan of action each morning is to wake her up, let her dress and then go together to the dining hall and have breakfast. Only after that, they would proceed to go on the official side of the business.

When he came to her room and saw an empty bed his heart sunk uncomfortably fast and Kururugi rushed to it, seeing a note neatly folded on the sheets.

_“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand, but I will be in my office earlier today. Have something to eat and then bring me the finalised Product. We’ll hold the ceremony in the evening.”_

It said and he slowly slid his fingers over the letters, face growing grim. 

The product.. she meant the geass button. His stomach curled up and he started to feel nauseous.

If any doctor would see Suzaku right now, they would probably tell him to take a vacation at least for a month and rest for the eternity of it.

There was no professional to stop him, though, so he just stepped hard on all of his emotions, knitting his brows together, putting the Zero mask on.

He marched from the private empress wing and saw quite a lot of commotion, probably because of the speech that Nunally will be giving later.

A lot of people started coming up to him, saying “Zero please do this and that” and Kururugi just waved them all away, for once without any capacity left to feel guilty that he can’t help with preparations.

Soon enough young man found himself in the technician part of the palace where everything was more silent. Way easier to bear the silence here than in his room, he noticed.

“Ah, Zero, welcome!” mused Lloyd, greeting his with open arms, “Everything is ready! Still don’t understand why would the empress need such a device that never brought nothing good but I guess it is not my business to ask, am I right?” he smirked and looked at the masked person, hands on hips.

“It indeed isn’t,” said Suzaku in the low tone, just being fed up with this day. He’d much rather take off his mask and tell the whole world that his death was a lie instead of even touching the device that can inflict such a power. A power that he despises.

But he can’t do that. He can’t do that because he is a slave. He always will be. Lelouch was right. He just lets people spit on him over and over, in the end not changing a single thing in the grand scheme of things.

Suzaku wasn’t the greatest politician, despite his dad rooting heavily in politics, and so Japanese were actually still being oppressed. He just didn’t know how to solve it. He wasn’t as great of a leader as Lelouch was, as the real Zero was. 

He’s just a mere replacement that can’t even do his job right. 

So he will take the geass button that Nunnally requested from his friend that doesn’t even know who he is, he will ignore Cecile-san as she comes in just seconds before he leaves and waves enthusiastically at him, he will continue in his heavy steps all the way to the palace, he will shrug off every single interviewer that wants to have a discussion with Zero, leader of a nation, he will knock on empress’ office where she is ready for the speech to give to the whole population. And he will bow down before her, getting on one knee, giving her the power he hates. She will just curtly nod at him and then put the device carefully in her lap, just out of reach of the camera. He will stand beside her as Zero, and there will be silence before the broadcast.

He is just a servant. Merely that.

“Nunnally,” he said, devoid of any emotion left, “you still won’t tell me which order are you going to give?” he was looking straight into the tv screen in front of them, as the countdown showed still two minutes left before the beginning of the stream.

“No,” she said seriously, looking at the same direction, tensing up.

“So it will work on me and I won’t even know, huh,” his tone was now softer and quieter, accepting the fact that his most loved person alive is essentially doing what he hated the most.

“No. I got that checked up, Suzaku,” in her voice could be heard a small smile, probably a sad one, as she continued “Apparently the order that my brother gave you was so powerful that you’re immune to any different type of geass,” she said with a deep sigh, “so you’ll hear it and won’t be affected. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

He couldn’t answer her anything on that because the timer was already up and the political duo went live to the millions of people that were watching, all around the globe.

The topic of the speech was supposed to be about more liberation rights for Japan, so that created a lot of so-called “hype” amongst the citizens, Britannians as well as Japanese. The maximum amount of people were watching and they will all obey the empress. That was the plan.

“Nunnally vi Britannia commands you,” with hearing these words Suzaku got goosebumps, his hands squeezing the handles of her wheelchair as much as he could to prevent himself from doing anything that he might regret later, “please, everyone who is watching this or hearing this, forget about the fact that the 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire was Lelouch vi Britannia. From now on, you will all remember him as just a person without a face, someone who wanted to rule the entire world, but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t Lelouch,” she said, after pressing the button.

Even a normal person could feel a literal surge of some energy coming out of the room they were in and Suzaku widened his eyes as he heard the order.

His mouth hung open as he was trying to make sense of what she just said.

Nunnally cleared Lelouch’s name. 

Nunnally… cleared Lelouch’s name. 

Kururugi couldn’t focus on anything that the empress proceeded to talk about after that, staring blankly at the wall and for the first time he was genuinely glad that he was wearing a mask so that nobody could see his shocked expression.


	2. Chapter 2

“Do we need anything from the shop, Lelouch?” C.C. yelled back towards their house, already sitting with a leg up on her old bike with a casket in the front.

“I don’t know!” she heard an annoyed voice scream back, almost immediately more softly adding, “Juice?”

She smirked and shook her head, getting up on the only means of transport they had with both legs and already started riding away by the known road towards the little city next to them.

“I don’t understand how he keeps sitting at home or just at our garden all the time,” she mused out loud, even after Marianne's disappearance she didn’t get rid of the habit of talking to her and often she imagined her to be by her side... when she wasn’t with Lelouch, that is. Which didn’t happen often, actually.

“We already do look like a married couple, I know, ugh,” she grunted in response to herself, passing some cows and sheep by each side of the rocky road, making all the jiggly parts of her body bounce up and down uncomfortably.

“Look, I’m **not** attracted to him, okay? Like... He’s pretty, of course. And his mind is even prettier, but.. is that what attraction is like?” green-haired witch thought aloud, making her own self surprised by that statement.

“No way, pfff,” woman on the bike laughed, noticing how soon enough she has reached the first signs of some civilisation.

Since Lelouch was kind of worldwide known person now, she was the only one of them who could venture out without any special masking, just making her way downtown, buying groceries that they could eventually plant themselves but it was just too much work.

How the hell do you even grow peas?..

And this little village had their very own pizza place, so of course, that was always on the table whenever she returned from the “city” trips.

She was just passing a carriage when all of a sudden she felt a literal pulsation in her ears as if witnessing an atomic bomb exploding somewhere far away, her vision blurring and her body, despite the incredible heat outside, was suddenly freezing.

From all of the different feelings, she couldn’t handle her bike and almost rode herself under the horses' hooves that were driving the carriage but the owner of said thing had fast reflexes so she stopped it, instantly getting off her seat, down to the ground to help C.C.

“Ma’am, are you alright?!” she said rather loudly, which made the ‘boom’ inside immortal’s head creating a high pitched frequency that she had to put her hands up to the cover the ears instinctively. It didn’t really help with anything.

“Okay, let’s get you out of the road,” the kind woman started taking the initiative, seeing as C.C. was non-responding, curling onto herself in pain, covering her entire face and grunting from the discomfort.

It didn’t take long for her to pass out, the world in front of her eyes spinning and then slowly, but surely, turning black.

When the green-haired carrier of the geass power entered the dream realm, she was standing in the pitch-black space, seeing some red light barely visible, coming out of her own body. When she looked to the side, she saw another red lighting, a bit in the distance. The figure, forming the shadow reminded her of Lelouch. It was probably him.

Then she looked in front of herself, now looking miles and miles away, probably all the way back to the middle of Japan, seeing an enormous wave of red, heading her way. It was like a tide, a disaster so big it was impossible to stop.

It has hit her full force, knocking down her feet and with the first pang of pain, she had woken up, sweating and in some unfamiliar place, catching her breath.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” a gentle hand immediately appeared at her shoulder, the woman smiling at her gently.

“You passed out on the road, do you feel better now?” she asked, tilting her head a little, in genuine question.

“Yeah...” she said almost absentmindedly, getting up from the unknown bed, and found her way out of the stranger’s, slender hands extended in front of herself as if she was scared to bump into something by accident.

She found her bike laying by the entrance, so C.C. just climbed on it and in a very wiggly line continued her original journey towards the shop where she had to buy groceries.

After such mundane task was done - which she had almost no recollection of, because her mind at the time was preoccupied with absolutely different thoughts than that - she hopped on her vehicle again, loading food into the little basket in the front and then started riding away from the city.

It can be debatable whether sensing geass power being used is a feeling that geass holders get attached to or they really might be addicted to it without even their own knowledge, but...

C.C. was riding faster and faster, feeling the hot wind whipping her face, an unnaturally wide grin spreading upon her face.

“Hahah...” it started slowly, but with each passing second her laughter got more hysterical and louder, manifesting with her lifting her slim hands into the air, letting go handlebars of the bike and screaming from the top of her lungs a concerning “wohooooo” out of the blue.

_Someone used geass on so many people... I can feel it... I want to know who did that._

_Marianne, can you help me?_

She looked over at her side, where her old friend was just sort of floating in the air, feet not touching the ground, smiling mysteriously.

“I think I can,” she heard her say, outstretching an arm towards green-haired woman, looking at the ‘ghost’ in absolute awe.

It’ll never be quite known whether C.C. had a prophecy vision or if that really was Marianne she was talking to, but the moment she closed her eyes, time stopped.

She found herself in the space of nothingness, just floating in the darkness. After a moment of wandering with her olive eyes, everything around her started gaining colour, as she appeared in the room... seemed like a royal family property, richly decorated.

She saw Zero standing with his back towards her, joined by young empress Nunnally by his side.

She watched as the live stream went online, Lelouch’s sister firmly pressed some button in her lap, C.C. couldn’t quite see. But she could definitely hear.

“Nunnally vi Britannia commands you, please, everyone who is watching this or hearing this, forget about the fact that the 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire was Lelouch vi Britannia. From now on, you will all remember him as just a person without a face, someone who wanted to rule the entire world, but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t Lelouch,” green-haired woman just stared at disbelief about what she was hearing, the scene slowly disappearing around her, bringing her back to reality, where the balance of the bike was slowly tripping over.

She quickly put her hands back on the handlebars, getting the situation under control and then smirked to herself.

_Now Lelouch will have to get back to action. I bet he would love to investigate who made everyone forget about him?.._

She mused, already seeing their house in the distance.

Once she got back, Lelouch’s whole demeanour seemed to shift. Only slightly, but she always notices.

“C.C.. I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I think that maybe we can try and execute some one-time visit to my sister. Probably in disguise,” Lelouch said, his voice getting quieter, “I just want to see how she’s doing.”

She couldn’t help herself and a pleased smile appeared on her features, while she took an apple from their tree and tastily bit into it with a loud crunch.

.

.

“Suzaku-kun, are you still angry at me?..” voice of an empress echoed through the empty hallway as she was sitting in front of the big entrance to Zero’s private rooms where he has locked himself in for several hours after he has stormed out of the space where she was giving a public speech at.

There was no response, so young girl just sighed and put the tray she was holding in her lap onto the floor in front of the door.

“I will leave you lunch here. Please don’t starve, Suzaku-kun, you’re as slim as it can get already,” she concluded and then wheeled away for a few meters, waiting for a possible movement or a reaction, getting none.

Minutes passed and with a low rumble of the wheels rolling by the floor, she went away, leaving Kururugi alone with his own demons, now doubting whether her choice was right.

In the meantime Suzaku was just sitting on a chair, gaze focused on nothing in particular, zoning out, lost in the waterfall of endless thoughts that were running through his mind.

_Lelouch didn’t deserve to have his name cleared... Or did he?_

There was an inner fight going on within his soul, one side strongly believing that Lelouch never deserved to not be remembered as a tyrant and the other side yelling at him that he was essentially just working for the same goal as he was, just with different means.

And aside from him, Lelouch never wavered in his decisions, almost always staying directly on course towards his own finish line.

Suzaku’s main state at the moment was _confusion_ , deep-rooted confusion that originated from himself trying to get away from his true feelings and being in denial of the obvious.

Japanese soldier wanted redemption, he wanted to look and **be** a good person. Britannian didn’t care. He just wanted to reach the point that he promised to himself he will reach. And he did.

“Essentially, I did nothing...” Suzaku whispered to himself, looking around the room with the shaken expression.

His trembling eyes were searching frantically for something, his gaze growing blurrier as he got more and more consumed with unidentified emotion.

He basically smashed the rose button near his bed, meaning that he requires the empress in his rooms.

He heard Nunnally’s wheelchair’s familiar creak across the hallway and opened the door with his trembling hands, just by good reflex not stepping into the tray with food in front of him.

He went directly to Nunnally, stopping her on her way, his hand firmly grasping the frame of her chair.

“Why did you do it, Nunnally?” maybe the empress would prefer for Suzaku to yell at her at the moment, instead of just asking this with a shaky voice and unfocused emeralds looking right back at her.

This Suzaku reminded her a lot of the one she met right after the Requiem. It felt like he was just a stripped version of her friend, left with only negative emotions in his clutched fist.

She never wanted to see him like this again.

“Suzaku-kun..” she started slowly, carefully trying to touch him with her petit hand, extending towards his torso hovering above her.

He quickly flinched away, eyes growing wide, repeating the same question like a broken record.

“Why?”

Nunnally then pulled her hand away, furrowing the brows. That’s how it’s going to be, then.

“Suzaku, don’t you understand? My brother did all of that for us to live in a world without war,” she said strongly, clutching hands in her lap, “He didn’t do it to.. shove it into your face. He wasn’t competing with anybody. And the fact that you stayed alive is not a failure.”

That last sentence felt like a punch to the gut. The one that Kallen gave him a long time ago when she was captured by them.

And then punch continued, evolving from the first into a spear, piercing him through, making him bleed inside.

But he was bleeding for a long time already, wasn’t he?.. 

He was grieving for a long time, not being able to come to terms that they have all died but he **stayed**.

“It’s never late to start healing, Suzaku. I see how much you’re hurting,” he felt her elegant hand on his cold fist, not quite capturing the warmth, as if she was touching the ghost and not him in his flesh.

They stayed in this pose, in the middle of the silent hall for hours, it seemed like. 

Nunnally not daring to move away, leaving him alone in the process and Suzaku trying desperately to fight himself back into the reality to feel something and realise what was unfolding in front of him.

It felt like as soon as his brain detected something even vaguely resembling of “healing” of any sorts it tried to push him as far away from it as possible. Because he didn’t deserve it. 

Or did he?.. 

After an even longer time he was the first one to move, finally being able to feel his fingers on his toes a bit, coming back to reality.

And as soon as he did, everything came crashing down on him, taking his emotions by the storm, as he first started shaking, his lower lip trembling and in the end his whole posture collapse around Nunnally’s body, knees falling hard on the floor, hands clinging to her side and his curly head fiercely pushing into her lap, as if he was afraid to be alone in this free-fall.

Suzaku started crying, his fingers curling around his friend’s clothes, muffled sobs escaping his lips every so often.

Empress was slightly surprised at first, but then she understandingly intertwined her fingers in his brown hair, soothingly caressing this lost case of a man, who might’ve finally, for the first time, forgave himself.

Without any knowledge of time, they were huddled like this in the hallway, clinging to each other and Nunnally didn’t turn around and leave him alone as he had feared. She had stayed through the eternity of his episode until the sobs subsided, body shakes coming to a stop.

“It’s okay, Suzaku-kun... Everything will get better now,” she gently put her palms on each side of his face and slowly lifted his head, smiling at him with all her warmth.

His eyes were puffy and the circles under them were adding at least good five years to his original age, Suzaku just managing to answer with a small smile as well, nodding.

.

.

After that day Nunnally basically ordered him to have some time off, to just recover mentally and take the whole situation in. 

And the first thing that Suzaku did was visiting his best friend’s grave. He was buried at the royal family graveyard that was accessible to the public, so he came in his regular clothes, with a face mask and a hoodie on, his tired emerald eyes scanning the area, finding out that there was nobody around.

It was a gloomy day, dark clouds threatening to send pouring rain on the ground any second. 

Kururugi first passed Euphemia’s tombstone, spending a good hour there, first just sitting in silence, then breaking down and by the end just talking to her as if she was sitting in flesh by his side.

“I’ll.. go to your brother now, okay?” he said with a sad smile, eyes filling with tears again as he traced his fingers on top of the cold stone, letting go and walking further.

His heart was heavy. Even though the incredible amount of guilt and grieving was lifted after yesterday’s chat with Nunnally, his heart was still, so... so heavy.

Why wouldn’t it be? Two people he loved the most are now laying next to each other on the graveyard. How happy is that? 

When he reached the tombstone that said “99th emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire” he descended on his knees in front of it, remembering how Lelouch did the same at the Kururugi shrine that one time...

“They didn’t even put your name on this thing... Maybe Nunnally had this planned all along,” he said quietly, fists on his knees starting to tremble.

He didn’t talk much to him this time. Normally he would just pour his heart out, saying everything that he wasn’t able to say when they were still side by side, but.. now he was just sitting there.

The silence was horrible.

He always expected Lelouch to come back, to give them some sort of a sick show, he just wouldn’t die like this - for real - right?

But maybe Suzaku was the one in the wrong the whole time. 

While he was searching and desperately clinging to nobility and seeming like a knight of justice... Lelouch was the one who truly believed in his own vision.

And he wasn’t scared to sacrifice himself in the process. 

That’s what Suzaku lacked the most. The last, finishing touch. He never seemed to follow through with the plans completely.

After some time of the silent contemplation, he finally stood up, sighing heavily.

Suddenly he heard footsteps behind him, turning his head around.

There was an older man with a cane standing, crouching with the bad posture.

“Who would miss such a monster?” said the man, making Suzaku stop in his tracks.

“I...” he started, thinking his words over. There was no use, talking to a civilian who doesn’t know anything, “I guess you’re right, sir,” he curtly bowed his head and made it past him, almost running.

He was so conflicted. So terribly confused in all of his thoughts.

.

.

The man then took off his glasses, put away the cane and stretched his back, revealing a figure of a very slender young person.

He then also took off his grey lenses, revealing his amethyst eyes with a pleasing smile.

“You really wanted to see Suzaku like this for the first time?” said C.C., coming out from behind the tree, looking at him unenthusiastically.

“Look, my main objective is to see Nunnally. The fact that we were able to track Suzaku here... is a bonus,” he said quietly and then sighed, walking away to the other grave that read “Euphemia li Britannia” and stopped there.

“You miss all of them, despite how much you want to seem inhuman,” she said, sitting next to him on a bench right in front of the tombstone, olive eyes trained on him.

“What do you mean, inhuman?” he briefly looked at his partner in crime, a sad smile appearing on his features.

“Essentially you’re the only one in front of who I don’t have to pretend anything. So yes, I do miss them all. Didn’t expect myself to miss anything at all ever since I put on the greatest show the humanity has ever seen and they all believed it.”

He looked at Euphy’s portrait, her smile radiant, stopped in time, forever.

“What is our new plan then?” she thought out loud, her hand supporting her chin, as her eyes wandered around the graves, stopping at the one that read “Marianne vi Britannia”.

“Well, we get ourselves some apartment in the city and we research sister’s schedule so I can somehow see her in some shape or form,” he said simply, shrugging.

_Euphy... I’m really sorry about what happened._

He reluctantly traced his fingers right where Suzaku left his fingerprints as well, smiling sadly.

His heart clutched uncomfortably with a sudden pang of sadness and nostalgia for the easier times before he ever got his geass and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“He’s growing soft,” C.C. smirked and stood up, dragging her feet towards the grave she noticed before.

“But you’re not really her, are you?” the green-haired woman looked to her left, at something that nobody else could see, “because the real you that lays here was way worse.. you’re just remains of the good things that I remember about you, right?” her gaze now shifted to Marianne’s grave, a smile appearing on her face.

“Who are you talking to, witch?” Lelouch finally left his place by Euphy’s side, joining his friend.

“Ah, it’s nothing, really,” she then took Lelouch’s hand in hers and they started walking away from this graveyard, hopefully going towards new adventures for both of them.

.

.

It was already a good week since the mysterious duo arrived in Tokyo, the main city of Japan, mapping their way around the empress’ schedule to find the most fitting event where they could meet.

The pair was just walking down the square to ask some questions in the museum, about irregular guests and whatnot, when Lelouch’s attention was drawn towards the group of people, clearly beating up a man on the ground.

“You’re a piece of shit, you’re an Eleven, you’re all still Elevens, understand?!” they were screaming at the poor person below them.

Lelouch has given up his entire existence to make this violence stop. Why is this happening? Of course, there wouldn’t be perfect peace, he wasn’t **that** delusional, but .. why is it happening?

Something in his chest swelled painfully as he saw pictures from the past in front of his eyes, as Suzaku stands by the sinks and tried to wash off his uniform that was sprayed with vulgar and racist insults towards him, he saw him on television being accused of Clovis’ murder...

“Hm?” C.C. hummed, seeing as her friend turned towards the group of racists clearly violating laws and started walking to them.

His cap was firmly sitting on his head, covering the bigger part of his face, making it hard to recognise that he’s the “dead emperor” right off the bat.

“Hey, stop it at once!” he basically barked at them, with hands clutched in fists by his sides.

“Or what?” some of them stopped beating up the poor man, now turning to the one with the cap, smirking in a disgusting, privileged way.

He despised them. So much.

No matter how much bloodshed he caused, his initial goal was always to make the remaining people live in peace.

“I’ll call the police!” he took out the phone from his hand, but one guy from the group was faster and already punched Lelouch full force into the face.

Ex emperor almost fell over from the blow but managed to stay on his feet, with surprise realising that his cap was no longer covering his face, now laying on the ground.

_Great. We’ll go with the flow, I guess.._ he mused and just dusted his clothes, looking at them.

“Stop that harassment, Lelouch vi Britannia orders you to!” he didn’t use him geass, no, but he fully relied on the fact that the Britannians would be out of their minds from seeing dead ruler standing in front of them.

But they weren’t. They just laughed and looked at each other, then back at Lelouch.

“The fuck are you on about?” one of them said, punching him again.

“Sorry, buddy if you’re Britannian as well, but you interrupted our fun,” as Lelouch finally fell to the ground from the blow, they punched him a few more times for good measure and then went away, disinterested in doing more harm.

Only then C.C. slowly made her way towards him, extending her hand to her partner, observing his bloody face.

“You look great. I think we need to fix you up at home first before we do anything else,” she said calmly, with a slight smile on her face, as she saw his confusion in his amethysts. 

He took her hand, standing up, still looking somewhere behind them where the group has vanished to.

“Why.. why didn’t they remember me?” he asked, “I.. is it possible they forgot? Hell, no that’s bullshit. How.. What’s going on?” he also took his hat but put it into the pocket of his coat, not putting it on.

“Not interested in hiding anymore?” she said with a wider smile now.

“I need to test something now,” he curtly answered.

“I bet nobody would recognise you with these bruises anyways,” she laughed and squeezed his hand, as they were walking, “but what if they did remember you? Wouldn’t that be dangerous?”

“They would’ve been called lunatics for claiming they’d seen the dead emperor..” Lelouch said absentmindedly as if it’s the most natural fact of all, clearly thinking hard about something.

“C.C.,” he made a point of stopping, so their linked hands didn’t allow her to go further without him.

His purple eyes were looking at her in the same way they did way back then... way back before he was killed as 99th emperor... 

Now the man before her, the man she actually loved and trusted, was the Lelouch she has missed so much.

He got his spark back again.

_Thank you, Nunnally, for bringing your brother back to being alive._

She thought in her mind, a smile spreading across her features.

“You know something that I don’t, right?” his sentence was demanding and the tone he used would make anyone bow down and tell him their darkest secrets. 

But not her.

The old witch just smiled even more wickedly, unable to contain her emotions that were now swallowing her whole.

“Correct,” she finally said, letting go of his hand and shortened the distance between them, pressing her lips on his in a silent kiss.

He never once reciprocated the action and she knew very well that his heart would never belong to her. And she was alright with it. She was more than happy to just exist by his side.

“Welcome back,” she said, pulling away from him, “now you have another mystery to solve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens!!!  
> please let me know how you liked this chapter, i hope it didn't come off too short or illogical :D
> 
> also that's my personal favourite, but i think suzaku hearing "and the fact that you stayed alive is not a failure” was soo important to him. yeah, i know this boy deserves way much love but hopefully well get to it.


	3. Chapter 3

Suzaku heard a knock on his door and he quickly put his Zero mask on, only after that unlocking the door.

He was sitting in the official headquarters of the black knights, trying to solve their current biggest problem; continued oppression of Japanese, despite Japan being a legal country already.

He just wasn’t suited for politics and he knew that. He did better on the battleground, but he couldn’t possibly just go in the streets and punish every single one oppressor that shows up, right?

_ How would Lelouch solve this?.. _

Whenever a thought like this appeared in his mind, Suzaku knew that he just wasn’t able to be angry at him forever. Especially after what Nunnally did.

He really just.. went after his vision. He knew that the state of things wasn’t fair and he changed it.

He fucking did.

No matter the cost.

New Zero sighed deeply, trying not to spiral into the hurricane of thoughts that was already forming inside his brain.

“Suzaku!” he finally heard and whipped his head around, seeing that there’s only Kallen standing in front of him, clearly calling after him for a while already.

He reached for the button under his desk and locked the doors to his “office” again, taking off the mask, relieved that he can do so at least in front of someone.

“Hey, sorry, I was thinking about something,” he said with a small smile on his features.

“So I thought,” Kallen answered, plopping herself on the chair near him, biting her lower lip, staring at her boss intensely.

“What?..” he asked, emerald eyes clear as day, this time around looking less tired than most of the days.

“I was just..” she lowered her ocean pearls, fiddling with some piece of fabric on her red costume and then lifted her gaze again, clearly gathering up courage, “today’s Lelouch birthday? So I thought..”

The sole reminder of that felt like a punch to the gut, even stronger than what Kallen is physically capable of. 

For the last few days, Suzaku’s hatred and anger towards his dead friend have subsided significantly and now formed into something different, something like.. sad nostalgia. The kind that doesn’t make you feel happy when you remember something. Only sad.

And he realised that he would actually do anything for him to come back. 

He was only 20 years old... He was too young to bear that burden.

“I thought maybe we can.. hold a celebration, of sorts? Maybe with the student council?” she smiled a little, quickly adding, “of course we probably won’t tell Milly and Rivalz that it’s in Lelouch’s name, since they probably.. think what most of the population thinks of him, but..” she trailed off, looking to the side and shrugging, maybe dismissing her own idea as a bad one.

Kallen’s life was getting better, but the loss of a true leader and a figure that inspired her so much, after all even the loss of a friend... she could barely talk about it with anyone. Nobody would understand.

And they didn’t have the best relationship with Suzaku. No matter how she tried, after realising there’s no escaping his presence in her life, he still seemed cold and distant.

“What do you think? If it’s a bad idea just tell me, I can see the expression of your face,” she looked back at him, unamused, crossing her hand on her chest.

But Suzaku’s furrowed brows and clear confusion in the eyes wasn’t from the idea she proposed...

He just realised that she was supposed to remember 99th emperor as a “person without a face, not Lelouch” just as Nunnally ordered to the rest of the population. 

Did it not work on everyone as they hoped?

“Kallen..” he started slowly, carefully picking words, “the idea is great, let’s talk about it in a bit, but...” he gulped nervously and then continued, “where were you when we were doing that speech about Japan rights last week with an empress?” he finally asked, hands in purple gloves clasped together.

“Uh..” she seemed taken aback by the sudden question but tried to remember anyways, putting a finger to her chin, “I think.. we were just in the warehouse picking up the booze with Tamaki,” she concluded, suddenly unenthusiastically, pursing her lips, “because **someone** ,” she pointed at Suzaku, “told me that I’m the only one who can truly be responsible for that idiot,” she finished, sitting more comfortably in her chair and then adding, “so no, because of your own order I didn’t hear a fucking thing from that speech. I still have to catch up with that.”

Suzaku’s eyes were wide open as he realised that by the lucky mistake Kallen (and - conveniently - Tamaki) didn’t fall under the geass spell and still stayed the same, with the unchanged memories, and a huge weight was lifted from his chest.

He broke into a smile, laughing to himself, “well, I’m sorry. I should’ve let Tamaki go by himself, I guess.”

“And let him drink all the booze there?! Sure,” she playfully smacked him on the shoulder and then smiled too, realising that cold Suzaku Kururugi is finally getting warmer, at least around the edges.

“No, but the idea is good, Kallen... Maybe we can even tell Milly and Rivalz that it’s for Lelouch’s birthday, you know..” he said more quietly, a sigh escaping his lips.

_I’m sure they watched the speech and now grieve for the loss of Lelouch just like we do, forgetting about all the horrible things he did in order to restore peace.._ he thought to himself.

“Huh? Well, whatever you think is best, boss,” she said with a shrug, the smile remaining on her lips as she got up from her seat, “So I’ll see you there, then?”

“Sure. See you there. I’ll text you the details,” he said, opening the door for her and closing it again, finding himself alone in the office once again.

.

.

“So what’s our plan? Just sitting here and getting you patched up until something big happens?” C.C. said with no enthusiasm in her voice as she was pressing an ice pack to Lelouch’s cheek that was healing rather fast, while he was scrolling through some news on the web.

“Everything is already in motion, just you wait..” and as soon as he said it, their doorbell rang and the green-haired woman sprang to her feet, but Lelouch got up too, with a wave of a hand gesturing for her to sit back.

“I’ll get it,” he stated, making his way to the door and checking the visitor through the peephole, his lips twitching upwards in a pleased smile.

He opened the door and some man handed him a phone, “Here, what you’ve requested, sir,” and then turned around and went away.

Lelouch closed the door and sat back on the couch, looking at this device in his lanky hands, examining it.

On the other side, it had a sticker of a lonely rose. Probably Nunnally’s doing. He traced his fingers on top of it, deep in thought.

Is he ready to come back and see them all? What if something goes wrong and he’s revealed? 

And what does it mean that those oppressors outside didn’t know who he was?

So many questions...

C.C. was looking at him the whole time, trying to figure out his train of thought.

What in the world is he thinking? Using geass left and right again. 

Even though he didn’t use it in a recent fight...

Sense of pride, maybe.

“You think you can figure out Kururugi’s password?” she mused with a smile.

Teasing Lelouch was always fun.

“You think I would cause myself the trouble to get the phone if I couldn’t crack my best friend’s code?”

But it was even better when he teased back.

She just hummed in response and then Lelouch started talking to himself, concentrating.

“He’s sentimental... so something of emotional value.”

Nunnally’s birth date? Wrong.

Eyphy’s?.. The phone buzzed and home screen appeared in front of him.

He swiped all the way until there was a page with no apps, looking at the wallpaper.. it was three of them having a good day by the sea.

_Old days_ , he thought to himself, smiling.

“He’s so sentimental, C.C., you wouldn’t believe,” he smirked, making the witch laugh a little.

“As if you are any better,” she said, standing up, only to make her way towards the king-sized bed, plopping herself down and hugging cheese-kun’s plushie.

Lelouch still had no idea where she got it from again.

“Messages..” he clicked on the recent chats and his eyes widened as he continued reading through them.

“Oh my, C.C., listen to this,” he said, clearing his throat and reading them out loud. “Suzaku sent Kallen the location of the royal palace, saying that the celebration will be held there and he’ll have to be present as Zero since Milly and Rivalz don’t know that he’s alive,” he laughed, continued, “It will be “the best way to give Nunnally an opportunity to feel like a student again, having all her remaining friends present at this day,”.. what day?” Lelouch’s eyebrows knitted together as he was trying to piece the information in his brain.

“You might be genius strategist, but you’re real dumb sometimes,” his companion said, throwing her yellow plushie at him, Lelouch catching it with his face with a thud and a grunt.

“It’s your birthday, you dummy,” she said, simply laying down again, spreading her limbs on the bed in a form of a star, looking at the ceiling.

“Oh..” he said, putting the cheese-kun carefully on the floor, thoughts racing.

_ Isn’t that the most ironic and best opportunity to show up at, though? I’d go as Zero when Suzaku will need to go to the base for something, maybe I can mess with some security there, so he’d have to go back.. _

“My main objective is to see Nunnally in disguise, so she doesn’t know it’s me. Then another objective that is on our list due to recent events is to find out why these guys didn’t remember me as an emperor and if that’s the case with all people or only them.”

“Suzaku deserves no objectives of yours?” C.C. teased again, even though her tone was a bit grimmer.

There was silence in response, followed with a sigh.

“It’s сomplicated,” he finally said, taking pictures of the messages with his own phone.

“What if Nunnally knows it’s you?” she continued asking, now rolling over to lay on her stomach.

“Most probably she will, but that’s a factor I can’t change,” he said, “I’ll have to act as if I’m Suzaku. And not let her touch my hands, because then she’ll know for sure.”

C.C. looked out of the window, where the sky was already getting dark.

_ Your son really can’t be satisfied with crumbs, huh? Always goes for the big fish.. _

.

.

They’ve finally prepared everything. One might argue they really turned one of the royal palace rooms into the old student council they were so used to.

Now it feels like nothing has changed. 

Except... Nunnally can perfectly see everything, her big lilac eyes dancing across the room with excitement as she was thinking about more decorations that she could put up. And Suzaku was in costume of Zero, that he was now chained to. And some of the people will surely be missing, so he decided to bring their portraits to the room, putting them on a table next to a wall.

It was a picture of Shirley, brightly smiling in the picture, Rollo with a shy expression showing a V sign and Euphemia, in all her beauty, looking right back at anyone who would examine her photograph.

“That’s a nice touch, Suzaku-kun,” Nunnally said, bringing her friend back to the reality, putting her hand on his shoulder, as he was crouched near the table, making photo frames stand well on the surface.

She felt incredible sadness within him and sadly smiled.

“Let’s pretend they’re just.. somewhere far away, but always with us in our hearts, okay? Same with my brother..” her tone was quieter now, her hand put to her chest, squeezing the skin a little.

“Yeah,” Suzaku simply agreed, nodding his head, “others should come soon,” he continued, looking at the time and then at the entrance.

First to come was Kallen, rarely dressed in something different than her black knights uniform - and that was her Ashford academy costume instead, smile brightly shining on her lips.

“Hi, guys! Nice to see you like this,” she said, waving at them and then crouched down to hug the empress.

Suzaku informed Nunnally that Kallen was one of the rare cases who didn’t hear the speech, so they were still unsure whether to tell her about the plan they executed or to leave it be... For now, they settled on the latter.

Before everyone arrived, Suzaku wanted to put a “gift for Lelouch” in the table next to the photographs, as sort of a sentimental touch.

He just put a paper with some note rolled and put in a glass.

Nunnally noticed his action, smiling softly.

She then asked him if he could buy a bouquet of white roses that she wants to put on the table as well, in a form of a present.

Suzaku obliged, flowers soon enough sitting on top of the surface in a pretty vase.

“Hey, guys!” suddenly they heard Rivalz cheery voice.

“Hi, nice to meet you, Zero,” Milly bowed a little, smiling and waving her hand.

They all decided to wear the school’s uniform without talking about the clothes choice for one another...

Since everyone arrived the party could finally start. 

It was just really nice, at least for Suzaku, even though two of the participants didn’t know who he was and they might’ve felt a bit awkward because of it.. but Suzaku was really happy that day.

“Do you remember how Suzaku and Lelouch were chasing Arthur?!” Milly remembered the glass of champagne firm in her hand.

“Haha, yes!” Nunnally laughed, lifting her eyes for a brief second at Zero, and he smiled right back at her.

That was one of the best days he remembers spent with Lelouch.

_ I wish we had more of those.. _

“And then Nunnally kissed them both on a cheek, fulfilling the prize,” giggled Kallen, smiling warmly at all of the people in the room.

“I actually adopted Arthur and he’s probably running around the palace somewhere,” Nunnally said with a bright smile.

“Aw, that’s great! I hope that little rascal is going to visit us while we’re still here today,” Rivalz cheered, chugging the remains of his drink.

Suddenly Kallen’s phone vibrated and she quickly took it, after listening for a while came closer to Zero, giving him the device.

“Zero listening,” Suzaku said curtly, certainly not happy that work is disturbing him during this get-together that was so important to him.

“Zero! Security to your own office has been breached and you’re the only one who can fix it, please come help us!” on the other end one of the members was yelling into the phone.

Suzaku’s emerald eyes widened.

Why today!

Did someone know that he’s going to be away? Dammit, he should’ve been more careful and realised that’s something up ever since he lost his own phone.

“I’m so sorry everyone,” he finally said, giving the phone back to Kallen, addressing the whole room, “but I’ll have to go to the base. Maybe - hopefully - I’ll be back soon,” he said and bowed, making his way hurriedly out of the palace.

.

.

Lelouch was actually nervous. He was looking at himself in one of the big mirrors in the hallway, fixing up his white scarf and dusting off his purple costume...

He knew what he’s doing today is really dangerous and will most certainly make Suzaku realise that he’s back, but...

He was greedy. He wanted to see his sister. And it wasn’t enough to see her on tv or on a walk somewhere far away. He wanted to be there with her, just as he was before. Even if it means at least for a moment.

Did he lose his mind? Doing all this risk only for that? Maybe.. after planning his own death things like these seem kind of smaller-scale and he didn’t think of it as an act of a madman.

He heard downstairs in the big atrium that someone is rushing away and looked carefully, seeing Zero. Clearly Suzaku, by the walk and literally everything.

But Lelouch was one of the few who could tell the difference.

Since Nunnally never really saw her brother in the Zero suit, hopefully, she won’t notice right away just with her eyes.

Others for sure won’t.

He waited a good hour before “returning” to the celebration room, his heart literally threatening to jump out of his chest.

_ I did missions way complicated than this, come on, calm down!.. _

He wished he could use geass on himself again but then just sighed, opening the door.

All familiar faces looking right back at him.

That stopped him in his tracks, especially Nunnally’s big, beautiful lilac eyes, wide open.

“I..” he started and then immediately gained back his confidence, otherwise the mission would be a complete failure, “It was a false alarm, everything’s fine now,” he shrugged and regained his position by empress’ side, not quite being able to stop looking at her.

“Everything’s okay?” she asked, looking up at him with a worry.

“Sure..” he answered quietly, looking right at her.

His heart was melting. He missed her so much. He wanted to hug her right now and never let go. Tell her how sorry he was, but what he was doing was necessary... He wanted to bow before her, fall down on his knees and apologise, apologise for everything he did wrong, apologise for letting her sister Euphemia and her friend Shirley die... apologise for every second when she saw him as an emperor when he neglected her. It was all an act. 

His love towards her is the only thing that never was an act, no matter how much he had to hide it sometimes. 

He wanted to say so much, yet his mouth was sealed. 

This isn’t the reunion he had hoped for, but there can be no other way, not now or never.

He was dead. He was dead to the public, to the whole world.

He will forever pay for his sins this way. Just like Suzaku is paying for his for staying alive.

It’s a two-sided coin, and Lelouch was terrified of what’ll unfold before him once his first childhood friend realises that today someone replaced him as Zero.

He suddenly felt someone rubbing against his skinny legs and looked down, his thoughts flying away.

“Arthur?” Lelouch asked with a surprise in his voice and crouched down to pick him up.

“Awwww, he came back!” Rivalz rushed to Zero, starting to pet the cat in his hands, slowly everyone huddling around him, trying to get a touch of Arthur that was purring on the highest frequency, having the time of his life.

Lelouch was just looking around his friends, a small smile appearing on his tired face. He also heard his sister giggling in the corner, seeing everyone being silly like this.

“Sorry for invading you like this, Zero, but the cat in your arms leaves us no choice,” said Kallen with a mischievous smirk and Lelouch chuckled at that, feeling like all his scars from everything he has ever done are being healed.

Maybe only one percent of them, but it was already enough for him to feel so much more alive.

Can he make it last forever?

He missed Suzaku as well, but.. their current situation just doesn’t allow them to meet like this, sadly. 

They’re destined to be the opposites forever, perhaps.

“Let’s take a picture, hey!” Rivalz suddenly proposed and they all gathered around Zero with Arthur in his arms, Nunnally in front of him.

Lelouch smiled, even though his face couldn’t have been seen.

Eventually, Arthur jumped away from his arms, making his way to the table with gifts and as Lelouch followed him with his eyes he noticed all the items on the table.

There were portraits of Shirley, Euphemia and Rollo on the surface in golden frames.

As the others were chatting between each other he turned his attention to this table, trying to figure out what was that about.

“I think that’s very nice of you,” he suddenly heard Kallen stroll next to him, as close for their conversation to be private, “This table of “gifts” for Lelouch from you and Nunnally..” she traced with her blue eyes the piece of paper in the vase and more than a dozen of white roses.

“I didn’t bring anything. Guess I’m less sentimental than you, after all, Suzaku,” she smiled with a hint of sadness at Lelouch.

He didn’t say anything but when she retreated to others he made a gesture of fixing the vase, swiftly taking the piece of paper and securing it in his pocket.

_Interesting what kind of gift Suzaku has brought me.._ he thought to himself.

He had let his guard down and didn’t notice how intensely his sister was watching him. He also underestimated her, not realising she shares just the same genius in her DNA as him.

And when she suspects something, she has effective ways to learn whether she was right or wrong.

“Oh, how clumsy,” Nunnally sighed as she dropped the handkerchief she was playing with between her fingers and now tried to reach it from her wheelchair.

Lelouch was, of course, the first one to react, and he did so completely on his instincts, for a moment forgetting about his rule of not letting be touched by the empress. 

He crouched down and then handed her the cloth and as their hands met, she firmly squeezed his palm, tracing the structure of the hand.

Lelouch’s eyes widened as he realised what’s going on, but he realised he can’t play a fool anymore, so he just used the situation to the maximum.

Her eyes widened too with realisation and started to fill with tears but she blinked them away, probably trying to stay calm and not stir confusion for other people in the room.

They stayed holding hands like this for a while and he could clearly read her silent lips spell “brother” in mute prayer, as his own eyes filled with tears. 

“Nunnally..” he said and then let her hands go, standing up and bowing a little.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to take care of some business,” he curtly stated and then turned to the door.

“Zero!” Nunnally yelped, getting the emotions to get the best of her, making him stop in his tracks, “Please, stay a little longer.”

His heart was breaking. All over again.

How foolish of him to even hope that he could just show up like this and pretend like things were the same.

They will never be. 

How fucking stupid. Now he just worried his dear sister who didn’t need all this confusion in her thoughts.

He should’ve stayed dead. His greed has led him here and shattered him again. All. Over. Again.

“I’m sorry,” he said hurriedly and rushed away, hearing Nunnally continuously plead him to stay.

He was making his way from the palace, as fast as he could, tears and anger at himself all boiling inside of him.

He stripped away from the Zero costume, firmly putting it into the bag and changed to the normal clothes, now leaving the cap behind.

He’ll have to taste his theory and take a walk as 99th Emperor and see if everyone remembers him.

Just as risky of a plan as the one he did moments ago.. but he couldn’t really care less, even if people do notice him.

When things were involving his sister, Lelouch always went a little overboard.. his feelings were no exception.

As he was making his way down one of the busiest squares in Tokyo, even if his eyes met with dozens of strangers, none of them had even the slightest flash of recognition.

He was right. For some reason, people have forgotten him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... that happened. i think lelouch would really go bonkers for his sister at some point :D  
> just wait in the next chapter when lelouch will read the note!  
> suzalulu is slowly cooking up! in a slowburn way, lol


	4. Chapter 4

When he made it to their apartment, he closed the door and took off his shoes, with a blank expression putting his coat on the hanger and looking at himself briefly in the mirror.  
What a pitiful sight.

He turned to the bathroom immediately, washing his hands and splashing his face with ice-cold water, trying to make himself feel something, anything.

When he came to the living room, Lelouch saw C.C. lighting up a candle on the big pizza on the table.

“Happy birthday, fool,” she simply said, looking up at him with an unamused face, one hand showing him her creation.

“Thanks,” he plopped on the couch next to her and she pouted, seeing no reaction.

“Hey, I tried at least,” she mumbled through her puffed cheeks, brows knitted together, “the celebration over at sis’ house didn’t go well?”

“I..” he started, then with a sigh just shook his head, closing his eyes, turning the world black around him, “It was good. Nunnally recognised me though.. and that’s where I realised I can’t take my decisions back. I should be dead. To them, at least,” he added in the end, opening one of his amethyst eyes lazily, looking at his companion.

She shrugged and sat more comfortably, now digging her feet under Lelouch’s butt to keep warm.

“Well, that was most likely to happen. Maybe you don’t have to be dead, you know..”

“So you really know something that I don’t,” Lelouch retorted, now opening the second eye as well.

“Hmm,” she hummed, a smile growing on her face. She loved a mystery.

“But I have at least two most probable outcomes that led to this,” he said, looking at the pizza and the candle in the middle, that was getting shorter with each minute.  
After all, small birthday candles don’t really hold out that long.

“See, you didn’t lose your grip,” she mused and then looked the same way where he did, “now come on, make a wish and blow a candle so we can eat our dinner.”

“Yeah... Both outcomes will make us stay here longer and investigate what actually goes on, I hope you’re aware of this,” he stated, looking her dead in the eyes.

“I am, Lelouch,” she said with the same smile on her lips, nudging him with her olive eyes that were darting to the pizza to finally dig in.

He just sighed and blew the candle, a single wish going through his mind and disappearing just as fast as the fire of the candle in its impossibility.

“Yay!” C.C. clapped her hands and started obliterating poor piece of food, definitely having the highlight of her day.

Lelouch didn’t hurry to have a taste, instead of standing up and going to the window, from where he could see the palace in the distance. Suzaku was probably going back there now, finding out that his dead friend has returned.

Ex emperor squeezed the piece of paper he had stolen from his birthday party, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

The only person he could never predict was Suzaku. So even now, clutching the paper in hand, probably containing some type of message, he had no idea what to expect.

He wrote it, thinking that the recipient will never read it, which made him even more curious.

His heart rate grew faster as he unfolded the sheet, looking at its contents.

And there lied a message. Black on white. In his friend’s scrubby handwriting. Full of honesty.

“I forgive you.”

Lelouch re-read it probably a thousand times, as if he suddenly lost all of the understanding of the language it was written in, eyebrows firmly knitted together until he saw his vision blur, and the first droplets of tears fell on the paper, the surface soaking it in.

It took him a few almost inaudible sobs for the green-haired witch to come to him, hugging her companion from the back. She was invisibly collecting the broken parts of him that he just shattered into today and tried to glue them together.

But it wasn’t a usual breakdown as she had witnessed many times before. This one was transformational. Healing.

Shards of his soul weren’t piercing her skin and make her heart bleed. They were soft on the edges. They just needed care.

For the first time since the requiem for the Zero, she felt like Lelouch is finally going to be okay. In the way that he wants to be, and not in the way that the world demands him to.  
.  
.

“Good evening, Nunnally,” Suzaku greeted the empress in her room, bowing a little with a smile on his face, as he took off his mask to face her.

“Good evening, Suzaku-kun. How was the emergency?” she asked, already laying in bed, half-sitting, a book in hand.

Normal books were so fascinating for Nunnally. People could just read them and didn’t have to trace their fingers over the different letters to know what is written there. So she took up reading a lot. Now the whole royal library was available to her and in her free time, she just couldn’t get enough.

He just sighed, loosening his white scarf and sitting next to her bed on a stool, looking at his feet now resting on the floor.

“It was.. annoying, to say the least. It was some malfunction with the security and I had to be there the whole time because my office doors couldn’t close, and I have a lot of important things in there,” he said, clearly defeated, his broad shoulders drooping.  
The fabric of the Zero suit firm around his skin.

It was more loose today. When Nunnally saw her brother. And now she notices all the similarities, exploring her friend’s posture and figure.  
Suzaku is generally more built that Lelouch and his costume is actually a bit worn out already, as she noted to herself as well.  
His gestures on the party.. were almost robotic. As if he was always trying to remind himself that he shouldn’t move in his usual elegant ways and be more down to earth, how his best friend is.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it back anymore,” new Zero concluded finally, “how was the rest of the event anyway?” he lifted his emerald eyes, with a small smile looking at his only close person in this palace.

“It was great..” Nunnally said, finally deciding at this moment that she won’t tell Suzaku what happened.  
She couldn’t really think of a logical reason why she should keep it a secret, that her brother was apparently alive and now somewhere near them, but.. her heart was advising her to do so. So she listened.

“Good to hear that,” Suzaku than stood up, “I won’t keep you up. You’ll go to sleep soon, right?”

He cared for her so much and she loved him just like her brother, that’s for sure. Suzaku has taken on a big burden, but for taking care of Nunnally he never complained. She saw some of his diary entries that revealed him venting his frustrations out at the fact that he has all this never-ending responsibility now, but he never mentioned her. He never complained.  
That’s probably what true love is.

“I will, Suzaku-kun. Thank you so much for always looking out for me,” she said, extending her skinny hand towards him and he met her halfway, squeezing her palm in his.

She abandoned the book in her lap, putting another hand on his, tracing her fingers on top of his skin, as she used to do a lot in the past.

Yes.. their hands certainly have a different feeling to them. And different emotion too. How strange.

Suzaku just smiled at this and then left the empress for the night, heading to his room.  
When he sat by his table, still in the work suit, he opened up his drawer and saw his phone just sitting there.

“What?..” asked himself Kururugi, looking at it in disbelief.  
Could he really just not notice a phone laying in his drawer like this?..

“I need more sleep..” he said into the silence of the room, standing up and dragging his feet towards the bathroom, stripping from the clothes he didn’t like to wear and then went straight to bed, just in some boxers and a white, oversized shirt, pulling the sheets over his head, shutting his eyes closed.  
.  
.

It was the middle of the week. Wednesday. A day when Suzaku never visited black knights out of his own rule.

“I don’t want the mask to consume me,” that’s what was written in his diary that Lelouch had an opportunity to read the other day.

 _What a fool, just leaving his diary with most honest thoughts laying around like this.. full of sentiment._  
Britannian ex-emperor thought to himself as he was walking in the Black Knights headquarters already, trying his best not to be spotted by anyone, to avoid all the questions that might arise at his appearance on a strange day.

 _If you really are committed at being Zero, the mask is a part of you,_ continued his train of thought Lelouch, easily getting into Suzaku’s private office and closing the door behind him.

“C.C., do you hear me?” he said as he called her, putting the phone on the speaker.  
He checked that the walls were soundproof beforehand.

“Yeah, what’s up?” a voice emerged from the device as she mumbled back, most certainly munching on something. Best guess would be pizza.

“I need you..” he started, trailing off in thought as he logged in into his best friend’s main computer, putting in a password that was incredibly easy to guess, “..to find me some info about the current political situation,” he continued, loud clicking filling the room, as he gracefully typed on the keyboard with a speed of a robot.

“Alright, boss,” C.C. answered with a pleased tone, happy that Lelouch is back on his rightful position.

He didn’t bother taking off a mask because he didn’t really plan on staying here for the long time. So when Lelouch heard a password lock clicking outside of the office, he was just next to some built-in-the-wall shelves filled with books and files and immediately reacted, reaching for his phone and hanging up on the call and hiding it in his pocket, returning to the files.

“Huh? Did I offend him by not speaking much?” wondered C.C. in their apartment in the meantime, just taking another slice of pizza, with not much worry in the world.

The clicking was followed by a louder clank of the heavy door sliding open and Kallen walking in with a bunch of files hugged in her arms, but stopping in her tracks immediately, seeing another person in the room.

They kind of both froze on the spot, not knowing what to do.

Lelouch didn’t know that she had access to his office and she in turn didn’t expect her boss to be present on the day when he said she won’t reach him.

“Hey, Suzaku,” she started cautiously when the door slid closed behind them, leaving them in the silence of the four walls.

“H-hi, Kallen,” he answered, scanning the papers in her hands, not eager to start a conversation by himself. Let her present the info first.

“Uhm.. is everything okay?” she asked, walking up to his table and fixing the documents she was holding and then proceeding to put it on his desk, “I just brought in the materials you wanted to have a look at the other day,” she explained, without ex-emperor having to ask about anything.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he answered curtly, biting his lip. Since he has already been spotted, now’s his chance to put it to good use anyways, “Uhm, I actually wanted to ask you of a favour,” he said hurriedly, proceeding to his table as well and seating himself on the chair, clicking on the computer, “can you give me a full report on those accidents until the end of the day?”

He turned the screen to her, showing numerous acts of violence towards the Japanese nation.

“By the end of the day?!” she yelped and stepped back, realising that it’s gonna eat away her whole day.

Lelouch just furrowed his brows, “Yes, are you Japanese or not?! You don’t care about how the situation is going with your nation?” he said sternly which caught Kallen by surprise, her mouth hanging open in the “o” shape.

“Our nation,” she finally said and frowned, nodding, “I’ll bring it in two hours.”

“Good,” Lelouch smirked and then his facade fell as he sighed when he stayed alone in the room again.

When the report was brought back in, he found out that despite restoring “peace” ever since Requiem for Zero, there still needed to be done some political adjustments in a very subtle fashion, for any racist crime to be punished.

Suzaku was unable to think in such... detailed ways, at least when the topic was politics.

He needed to bring the changes himself.

“I also have to find out who the hell erased me from the population’s memory..” he wondered out loud, getting back to work.

.

.

“Let’s applaud for the empress herself, appearing as a guest on this royal pianists showcase!” some rich looking mc announced, as Nunnally rolled in her expensive clothes and the pink-ish wheelchair, decorated with flowers and other earthy details.

The audience wasn’t all full of pretence. Some people, of course.. they came only to show to others that they’re cultural and “care” about the music and the empress, but it was just their selfish desire to seem better that led them there.

But most people - as Suzaku’s emerald eyes scanned the attending crowd sitting on red-clothed chairs - were genuinely enjoying the show and seemed to be enjoying themselves.

If we don’t count some smaller issues like the residue of racism towards Japanese and the lack of laws that would prevent from such things to happen... they pretty much cleared the world from Lelouch hated so much. They really did.

No, he did.

 _No... we did it together. Stop putting yourself down,_ Suzaku almost commanded to himself, his hands curling into fists, sitting in his lap.

He looked up, seeing Nunnally confidently touching the music keys, so softly and full of skill... she really did exceed in playing this musical instrument.

Lamperouge siblings were really both kids of the royalty and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

But they have never been a part of the pretence that was present in the palace all those years ago and was rooted there for so long.

It’s still far from ideal now, but with time, new Zero is certain, everything will be better.

Much better.

Suzaku’s mouth hung open in awe as he was listening to the piece that his dear friend was playing. 

It was La Cathedrale engloutie from Debussy, as she informed him beforehand. He would’ve never known otherwise.

It was captivating and peaceful and let Kururugi’s soul rest for the eternity of the song, not letting him wander into the dark depths of his soul, not letting him feel guilt and suffer, as he normally would.

He also made a promise for himself to not wear a mask every single day, yet it was supposed to be that day when he’s having a break, but.. he didn’t feel like Zero today. He felt just like a friend who’s supporting Nunnally and attends pianists showcase in the royal palace.

He would come without a mask if he could.

Once the music stopped, the hall erupted in applause, people clapping and standing up to cheer on the young and talented empress.

She just bowed a little in her wheelchair and waved to the audience lightly with a bright smile, wishing everyone to enjoy the rest of the show, as she drove herself behind the curtain.

“Excuse me..” new Zero whispered to the person next to him and asked them to move a bit, so he could make his way backstage.

The man obliged and Suzaku rushed off stage, already spotting Nunnally as she was talking to staff members.

“Ah, Zero,” she got a comment about him approaching from her discussion partner, making her turn around and face him.

She now couldn’t stop thinking about the fact of.. “what if this time it’s my brother as well”? And when she would be able to recognise the difference by just a body structure too, in normal situations, she was always so excited by that thought that she couldn’t make a fair judgement and ended up grabbing him by the hand way often nowadays. Maybe making some rumours spread because of it, people not aware of the fact that she’s just holding to the habit of recognising people by the feel of their hand.

 _Suzaku-kun.._ she thought to herself, sliding her thing fingers over his palm and then letting go.

Her friend got confused every time she did it without an apparent reason, but never questioned it.

It’s not that their relationship had become less open ever since they got into the positions they both are in, it’s just... Suzaku’s curiosity even over the smallest of things like these and the willingness to ask something was gone. For a while now.

He is, in fact, working on himself, but that’s hard when you’re trapped in the icon that everyone idolises yet you know that you’ll never be the one they truly want to hear from, even not knowing it themselves.

“I told you that you can stay after my performance and enjoy the rest with everyone else, Zero..” she told him, lifting her head and trying to find his gaze in the reflective mask, only ending up seeing her own face staring back at her, eyes wide.

“It’s okay, you were the peak of the show,” he smiled at her warmly, and made his way behind her wheelchair, already putting his gloved hands on the handles, “shall we go?”

“Yes, please,” she nodded in agreement and he rolled empress out of the music hall, retrieving both of them to their private wig, where Suzaku could finally breathe some - relatively - fresh air.

“A game of chess?” Nunnally proposed with a happy smile.

“God, sometimes you’re a literal reflection of your brother,” he answered with a sigh, but couldn’t contain his own smile in return, taking the deal, both of them fully knowing that he will most probably lose.

.

.

“Hey, you **just** came home,” C.C. said pretty seriously, basically standing between Lelouch - that was trying to leave - and the doorframe.

“And?” he arched a brow in genuine confusion with sprinkles of annoyance, staring her down in her olive eyes.

“You need to eat, dumbass,” she swiftly took Zero mask under his arm and as he tried to reach back for it, she just jumped away from his movement, running further into the apartment.

“Goddamit,” Lelouch sighed with a wrinkle forming between his brows from the agitation and he just slammed the front door, returning to his companion.

“Here!” she smirked, clearly proud of herself as she put a big bowl of salad with meatballs in front of him.

“What is this,” he didn’t even ask but simply stated, with an unimpressed expression taking a fork in hand.

“Salad with soya?” she said hands on hips.

“Why are you taking care of me?” he retorted back, but dug in anyways, munching on the food.

“Look, Mister Important,” she started, plopping herself on the chair in front of him and fixed her long green hair, “I’m no longer active in black knights, I don’t have our garden to look after, I forgot to bring my knitting kit,” she complained, “so now I found myself some hobby! Making sure that you eat well,” she shrugged and watched as he was eating, clearly not impressed by her monologue.

“Fine, witch,” he mumbled through the bites and then continued his food.

After a moment of comfortable silence, she spoke up again, exploring his features with her olive eyes.

“Don’t you think it’s too risky to do things the way that you planned? He will... **really** notice,” C.C. started rocking on her seat back and forth a little, awaiting his reply.

“He would notice, either way, Suzaku’s not **that** gullible, even though he sometimes sure seems that way,” Lelouch said, finishing his meal and wiping his lips with a napkin like a true nobleman, “so we need to act as quickly as we can to fix this one situation with the oppressors and then there’s basically no bigger problems between Britannians and Japanese left,” he then leaned back, sinking into the soft cushion behind him and closed his eyes, “He will chase me, sure, but his willingness won’t help him find me.”

After a moment of comfortable silence he lifted his eyelids lazily again, meeting with his companion’s gaze, “And considering what he wrote on that paper... he doesn’t really want to kill me, which is a pleasant surprise. And while he’s on a chase, we can easily slip to the places we need to, to find more information about who used geass on the whole nation,” Lelouch concluded.

“The accuracy of your deduction concerns me,” she answered, but a smile appeared on her lips as she found cheese-kun with her skinny hands and pulled the plushie closer, snuggling with him.

“As it should,” he said, already making his way to the door now, despite his Zero costume putting on a coat as well because the temperature dropped significantly with the beginning of autumn.

“Where are you going, hm?” she asked in a pouty tone, spreading her body comfortably on the couch, olive eyes not leaving Lelouch at the exit.

“I figured who was able to make artificial geass like the one that was used and now I’ll be heading to its creator,” he answered with a mysterious smile, putting on a mask and heading away, into the night.

.

.

Lelouch knew the schedule of the laboratory at the technical wig of the royal palace and also knew that Suzaku was currently with Nunnally.

His plans were always thought through, to the smallest details.

As he entered the lab, a smiling face greeted him, waving in his direction.

But even such genius as Lelouch vi Britannia can sometimes forget about a human factor, that oftentimes made things much more complicated than necessary.

It was Cecile Croomy, which wasn’t supposed to work for the royal family anymore, nor be still at service, but Lloyd probably took her under his wing. He didn’t know why, but most possible because even an antisocial technician like him can get lonely.

His thoughts drifted to C.C. at that, but he just shook his head to himself. Their story was a bit different and much more twisted in various ways.

“Hi, Zero,” she said and then hurried to him, taking his coat and putting it on the hanger in the corner of the spacious room.

“Hello,” he wanted to automatically add ‘Ms. Croomy’ but realised that he didn’t know how Suzaku addressed her since they used to work together in the past.

_I bet that idiot is still calling her the same he was when he was just a Lancelot pilot..._

“Is Lloyd here?” he asked, looking around the lab. Seemed like working space, so he probably just went outside for a call or something.

“He’ll be back shortly..” she answered and then duck her head down, clearly contemplating something.

“Is something on your mind?” despite it being a bit impolite, Lelouch decided to simply drop any Ms. or Misses, not to confuse a poor lady.

“It’s just..” she looked quite nervously to the sides and seeing that they were alone at the moment, she stepped closer towards Zero and extended her hand and reached out to him.

Lelouch didn’t react in any way, just letting Cecile take his hand and squeeze it between her warm, shaking palms.

“I.. Suzaku-kun, I realised that it’s you who is hiding behind this mask..” she finally said, looking into the reflection of the mask, “And I just want you to know that I didn’t tell anybody and if you ever need someone to talk to.. I’m here for you,” she said with a warm smile and then let go of his hand, embarrassed.

“Sorry if I just complicated things... But I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” she said in the end and after these words, both of them heard doors open as Lloyd made his entrance.

“Cecile, can you leave us, please?” was the only thing Lelouch said to her, deciding to deal with the forced identity reveal later.

Now getting the information is the top priority.

As he found himself alone with the genius technician now, he finally sighed.

He tried to get a tiny window that would expose his amethyst eye to open, but apparently, due to small usage, it got stuck and didn’t work, so he just sighed and put his skinny hands up, taking his mask off.

Lloyd seemed pretty surprised, just blinking in anticipation what is going to happen now.

Yeah, he didn’t remember him either.

“Lelouch vi Britannia commands you,” he elegantly lifted his arm and waved it away, letting it rest once again by his side, “answer my questions!” he ordered and technician’s eyes were rimmed with a red line, showing his submission.

“Who asked you to create artificial geass?” his words were curt and sharp.

“It was you, Zero..” when Lelouch’s eyes widened from the surprise, he continued, “by the orders of the empress Nunnally.”

“What?..” Lelouch basically whispered under his breath and hurriedly put his mask on, already heading out, “Forget about this encounter!” he barked beside himself and then found himself already by the door to the safety of his apartment, catching his breath.

He didn’t knock for the longest time, just standing in the corridor, contemplating the information he just got.

_Why would Nunally do that?.. You can’t just take and.. erase a whole chunk of someone’s existence like this!_

He soon heard steps on the other side and the door swung open, C.C. standing in front of him only in a longer white shirt that didn’t even belong to her.

“Didn’t you do the same thing to your friend, Suzaku, though?” she asked as he stumbled inside, carefully taking off his mask, meeting his shaken gaze.

“It was for the good of the humanity.. individual lives didn’t matter in this,” he whispered, collapsing onto the couch, turning his gaze upwards at the ceiling.

“Then what about the life of the bloody emperor? Does it really matter that nobody remembers you now?” she let herself sit next to him and gently started stroking his inked hair, face devoid of emotion, olive eyes studying his face.

“That’s.. different! The hatred was **supposed** to be concentrated on a clear person, not on a-“ his mouth was clearly not catching up to the speed of his thoughts racing inside his mind, “on a- on some faceless man! That’s so wrong!”

“Is it?” she simply asked, her hand continuing circular motions at the back of his head, leaving her gaze from him and watching the ceiling now as well.

“You have to admit that sometimes your plans just won’t work out perfectly.”

There was a long silence after her words, Lelouch thankfully getting into a more stable headspace, closing his eyes from mental exhaustion.

“What should I do now..” he sighed, tone of despair eating through his collected facade.

“You can make amends. With Nunnally... Suzaku... I think they all deserve a bit of your time, don’t you think?” she finally let a smile spread across her face, her body naturally leaning closer to Lelouch in a hug, feeling the warmth of his body.

“Tomorrow I’ll attend the meeting in the morning as we planned, it will show on national television and then Suzaku will know that I’m back. Then..” he drifted off, not finishing his sentence.

“Or you can just relax,” C.C.’ smile was more wicked now as she spoke, “I know all of the things you wanna say anyways. I’ll go instead of you and then you can visit both of them while they will be watching morning television, huh? And I can reveal myself in front of Kallen or something, so she knows you’re alive too, hm?”

“Hm... I do trust you enough to fix this. You’re just as good politician as I am. Yet you’re disinterested in it, which might even make you a better negotiator than me..” Lelouch thought out loud as a green-haired witch slowly, but surely drifted off to sleep, while listening to his soothing voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, the next chapter has some real action going, this was just a warmup! :D  
> honestly i enjoy writing this so much  
> thank you all for the comments, it means the world!!<3


	5. Chapter 5

Yet another morning rolled by in the royal palace, despite the beginning of autumn, lighting up a peaceful face of Suzaku Kururugi that was still sleeping in his bed, blanket kicked away in his restless night.

This was the first sunny morning in weeks so the boy in bed didn’t even bother closing the curtains beforehand, now wrinkling his nose uncomfortably, as the sun rays made his vision brighter, waking him up ever so gently. 

He cracked one emerald pearl of his open, reaching for the blanket half-asleep, trying to save himself from the attacking sunlight.

“Why are all the windows in this palace so big,” he quietly moaned in annoyance, ruffling his curly brown hair and then stretching his body, with a new wave of energy, lifting the cover and springing to his feet.

He went on to do his usual morning routine when he didn’t have to rush anywhere, taking a quick shower and then splashing his face with cold water. 

He took a moment to look at himself in the mirror, not daring to stare at his own reflection for too long, seeing in his imagine every bad decision he’s ever taken, shaking his head violently and exiting the bathroom.

Suzaku chose a casual outfit for their breakfast as it was going to be the only time in the day he will be able to express himself as a normal human being.

He dressed in a simple white shirt and denim jeans with a belt from fake leather, fixing it around his tiny waist in another mirror, heading out.

The man knocked on empress’ door and then checked his wristwatch, making sure that he’s coming on time.. after all, she first has to tell the servants - who help with dressing and making food - to leave, just so he’s able to come to her room without having to reveal his identity to anyone else.

In the beginning, he used to feel embarrassed about all these “secrets” around Zero’s true identity but nowadays he’s finally grown accustomed to it.

He still remembers with a shudder how much of a pain it was to take some food from the chefs as Zero and then rushing through the whole palace with it to his room and locking himself there, only then taking off the mask.

But they made it work after all, and the system of it is not all **that** bad. Excluding the fact that Suzaku can’t have a normal life anymore, of course.

“Come in,” he heard a loud voice say and he pushed the door open, bringing his thoughts back to reality as he saw a smiling face of Nunnally, as she was already sitting by their little dining table in front of the tv.

The chairs were opposite each other, so both needed to turn their heads to see what’s going on on the screen. Nunnally - due to years of having her eyes forcibly closed - lost her peripheral vision, so she needed to turn her head even more than Suzaku did.

His gaze turned to the surface of the table as he approached, noting that the foods that were made here were always delicious. He should probably thank the kitchen staff sometime later.

There were two açai bowls, two different types of juices - orange and apple - and some sandwiches.

Suzaku licked his lips in anticipation of such a feast and sat down, then lifting his head from the contents on the table and meeting Nunnally’s big lilac eyes.

She was trying to hold her laughter in.

And failing miserably.

“What?” he asked, suddenly blushing from the embarrassment. Was she watching him the whole time as he was realising how hungry he’s been right from the beginning of the day?

“You’re just cute, Suzaku-kun!” Nunnally said and chuckled, putting the sound on the tv.

“Sure..” he mumbled under his nose and looked away, eyes trained on the device as well.

“And now we would like to proceed with a live broadcast held by the black knights as they negotiate more rights for the Japanese that are still being oppressed even in Tokyo, and - hopefully - put the end to it,” camera angle on the screen changed into the empty meeting room that soon started to fill in with the members of the organisation mentioned earlier.

As one of the last ones appeared Kallen, Oughi and then... Zero. He sat in the middle as the last and most important member of the negotiation.

Suzaku’s palms were suddenly covered in sweat and heart started beating faster.

His brain was trying to process what is happening but out of all the conclusions he tried to make... Is Lelouch alive?

Who else could’ve been this risky? 

He knew that his phone didn’t suddenly just disappear, it was his doing, for sure!

But his logical and emotional sides were tangled, his appetite vanishing in a second. Now he was the opposite - he felt nauseous.

His emerald eyes darted to the corner of the tv, seeing a blinking word “live”. It was happening now and he didn’t even know.

He frantically took out his phone and dialled Kallen, but with no answer. He did the same to all of the present members and nobody replied. 

“Nunnally, I..” he was clenching his palms into fists now, without any idea what he should do right now.

Is it really Lelouch’s doing? So... he?.. He isn’t dead?

It was all too much.

.

.

As soon as Lelouch parted with C.C. he headed towards the palace, on top of his usual outfit putting the same coat from the other day.

Despite the sun, the weather was still pretty cold. Plus his skinny complexion made him shiver even in the slightest drop of the temperature.

He was staring at the ground intensely as he walked.

_Suzaku’s going to be with Nunnally in their private wig, presumably having breakfast. His shaken up emotional state and relaxed stance in such a place by Nunnally’s side will most likely result in his fainting upon seeing me alive and well._

_Let’s just hope I’m fucking right. I don’t want to deal with the hysterical Suzaku today. Let me have it my way, please._

He got into the palace with no problem, having done this before thousands of times already.

His steps were fast and anxious, making his way towards the private empress’ and Zero’s wig.

In a twisted way, he did have every right to be here, though.

He was both a person who knew new Zero’s real identity, he was a member of a royal family **and** he used to be Zero himself.

Lelouch nervously smirked at that thought, biting his lower lip.

This will be the proper reunion. He could have it now. He really could.

It started to feel like a plan of a complete fool the closer he got to her room, but he was driven by the strongest emotion there is.

Love.

“Nunnally!” he almost yelled as he entered her room with a heavy swing of the richly decorated door, meeting her lilac eyes as she turned to him almost in slow motion, mouth hanging slightly open in surprise.

His amethysts then swiftly jumped to meet his best friend’s green pearls as he was already standing up on impulse.

“L-lelouch-“ his brain probably reached the threshold of the day as his eyelids shut closed involuntarily and he started sinking towards the floor, the body suddenly numb.

“I got you,” Lelouch jumped right to him as he was falling and caught him in his arms and then carefully - and with a bit of struggle - placed him on Nunnally’s bed, then slowly turning to his sister.

“Brother...” her eyes were filling with tears and soon enough she started crying, extending her arms to him, wanting to be closer.

“My dear..” he immediately came to her and hugged her tightly, not letting go for a long time, feeling content at the moment.

He was stroking her long brownish hair as her whole body was shuddering with sobs into his shoulder.

His eyes were closed but he felt tears roll down his own cheeks as well, hug only tightening at that.

He’s not letting go. As long as he can, he will try to be in the new world he presented to Nunnally.

It can be a gentler world even when he is in it, right?..

.

.

They’ve talked with Nunnally for a long time until she had to continue with the day’s plan as an empress and that left Suzaku and Lelouch alone in the room.

He also informed his sister that C.C. is currently in the Zero costume and is ready to give Nunnally assistance for the day instead of them.

“Okay, brother,” she smiled gently at him and then turned her wheelchair into the hallway, waving him before he closed the door to her room.

Suddenly it became so.. silent. 

The only noise in the closed space was now Suzaku’s breaths as he was laying in bed, completely still.

Lelouch took a chair from the dining table and pushed it to the bed, making himself comfortable.

Normally he wouldn’t waste his time and do something while he waits, something like reading or.. or anything, really.

But in a current situation.. he was looking at his best friend’s face, that seemed so at ease and relaxed while he was asleep...

Despite the note that he read from him, he still had no idea how he will react to his comeback. 

But.. It was worth a shot. It was always worth a shot with Suzaku.

C.C.’s words were ringing in his ears as a constant reminder “maybe it’s an opportunity to make amends.. with Nunnally, Suzaku..”

Maybe it really is an opportunity to make amends?

Can he for once allow himself to be human?

Does he have a right to do so? 

After everything he’s done?..

As Suzaku squinted his nose and made a little groaning sound, Lelouch was reminded of how soon their reunion will happen.

It made him nervous. Maybe it’s better to just run away and never come back? Make it for Suzaku seem like a fever dream? 

No. He can’t keep running away. 

He has to face the consequences. Suzaku has endured so much because of him.

It’s only fair for him to let his steam out, after all this time.

“Lelouch?..” Suzaku’s faint voice sounded broken, tired and his friend’s name felt foreign on his lips. He hasn’t said it for so long out loud.

“Suzaku,” ink-haired guy felt his breath hitch as their eyes met and it seemed as if the world stopped spinning.

In ex-emperor’s mind it was first a surprise, then relief, worry and then resignation, as his amethysts deepen in sorrow and mute apology for everything he has ever done wrong.

_Will he punch me? Slap me? Beat me unconscious? What if he won’t do anything at all?.._

Suzaku’s brain seemed to be reeling a thousand miles per second, his expression changing from the sleepy confusion to the realisation of the recent events. 

Now his emerald pearls narrowed, followed by the eyebrows knitting together, creating an angry crease between his eyes as his whole body started shaking, hands clutched in fists.

_Okay, here it comes..._

Lelouch was mentally preparing for some sort of physical impact and that was exactly when his best friend extended his hands to him and pulled him close to himself, not letting go.

He hugged him tight, his back trembling with - what he realised only after some seconds - sobs that Suzaku tried to suppress.

But as soon as Lelouch’s elegant palm landed on the back of the other boy’s curled hair, he started crying hard, gripping Britannian’s shirt between his fingers, as if he was to slip away any minute.

Lelouch wasn’t quite certain what was happening, but his mind was exceptionally slowly catching up to the reality as he realised that his best friend did show an emotional outburst towards him. But not rage, as he so foolishly expected. It was affection. Scarred, traumatised, broken, falling apart and asymmetrical affection. 

He really forgave him. It wasn’t just empty words on a paper. He poured his heart out. And Lelouch didn’t even understand.

“You fucking idiot,” Suzaku mumbled when his breakdown subsided a little, now only occasional tear slipping down his cheeks as he was still holding onto him.

“You’re the one to talk,” Lelouch was trying the waters with a playful tone he used, cracking a small smile, still very aware how tremendous the precipice between the two of them has gotten. They made it this way. With their actions, words and executed plans.

And if Lelouch was planning to fix it, it will take him a lot of careful steps to get out of there. 

But what he didn’t consider - again - was a human factor and the fact that Suzaku was atop of all that in love with him.

Kururugi realised it a few weeks after the requiem. He was in heavy denial the whole time while Lelouch was still alive, because... there were too many twisted situations when he didn’t even know anymore whether he will ever be able to trust him again or not.

But after everything calmed down, the storm passed, he realised that he did indeed love him. Deeper than anyone, stronger than anyone.

Maybe it wasn’t romantic at first. Of course, they were just kids, but it certainly evolved, making Suzaku confused and unsure of his own wants and needs.

And as he was pulling away from this long hug that they shared, he found an unusual expression on Lelouch’s face, looking right back at him. 

They were definitely closer to each other physically than they’ve been in years.

To think about it.. they will both have to start learning about each other anew, won’t they?

And now Lamperouge’s expression held a certain amount of worry and confusion, showed mainly in his purple eyes and furrowed brows, his mind probably thinking without a stop.

There were so many things that Suzaku wanted to share, to ask, to yell at Lelouch about.. but it was now in the very back of his head because he actually never even counted for the possibility that he might really come back into his life.

And before he moves on to anything else that needs to be talked out and asked, he just feels the need to do this one thing that he wanted to do for so long, that felt **right**. 

No matter how much it will complicate things for their relationship in the future if his feelings won’t be reciprocated, Suzaku at least had to try.

So he closed the distance between them, their lips gently meeting and Suzaku closed his eyes, still feeling wet traces of tears on his cheeks, as their noses bumped into each other’s faces.

It was a light kiss since Lelouch was frozen in place, clearly without a clue how to react to something like this, but he didn’t push him away either.

Suzaku pulled away himself and gulped nervously, staring into his eyes.

“I can’t believe you came back,” he said quietly, sitting up more comfortably on the bed now, stretching his arms in the air.

“Uh-huh,” only mumbled Lelouch, still in the state of some post-shock of what just happened.

“Hey,” the Japanese extended his hand and slapped his friend a little on the cheek, making him go back to reality with a visible flinch of his whole lanky body.

“Why did you do that?!” suddenly answered Lelouch, as if he just unpaused himself from being stuck somewhere, finally reacting.

“What?..” Suzaku asked back, at first not grasping what’s his friend talking about.

Lelouch just animatedly got more red in the face and started frantically pointing at his and then Suzaku’s lips with almost a squeal escaping his mouth.

“What do you mean why?!” yelled Suzaku, now getting a blush on his cheeks as well, frowning.

“I can’t believe this is the first thing that we’re discussing after everything that’s happened,” Lelouch said in disbelief with a sigh and then rested his face in his palm for a brief moment before loud ringing echoed through the room, the source being his pocket.

He flinched again, pulling it out of his jeans and upon seeing the caller’s ID he immediately stood up and put the device to his ear.

As people do, Lelouch started walking back and forth across the whole space while he was on the call.

Suzaku just used this time to sit on the bed fully, cross-legged, and watched his best friend intensely.

He didn’t even get out of the room, and the person on the other end is probably someone important since not a lot of people know about his revival, and yet he stayed here.

Meaning he trusts him. 

He always trusted him, in a way. 

Just certain situations put them on the other ends, making it impossible to even meet without a reason.

Meanwhile, Lelouch on the phone was furrowing his brows, hearing what’s his witch friend is telling him.

“She probably suspected that I was an impostor and just slammed me into the wall, pressing her body to mine and it was obvious that I wasn’t Suzaku,” she tch-ed into the device, continuing, “and then she took off my mask in some small empty meeting room and saw that it’s me.. so I knocked her out and locked her in Zero’s soundproof office,” she finished with a pleased tone.

“Okay, good thinking. Thanks,” Lelouch answered, his mind being all over the place from all the emotions thrown around suddenly, “I will tend to her in the evening, for now just assist Nunnally as we discussed earlier. If anyone asks about Kallen then tell them she took a sick leave until the rest of the day. I checked she doesn’t have any important meetings today,” ink-haired man said in a rush.

“Alright,” she agreed, “and how are the things going on your end?” she was most probably smiling mysteriously at that.

“Uhh...” Lelouch threw a quick glance at Suzaku’s direction and just as fast retreated with his eyes towards the window, “it’s **going**. I have to hang up now, bye.”

And with a click of a semi-flip phone, he closed it, now putting it on the dining table and looking again at Suzaku.

“Who was that?” he asked with a little smile on his features, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

“C.C... She’s going to take after Zero’s responsibilities for a day, while we..” he trailed off, coming closer to the bed and sitting on it, “talk everything out, I guess. She’s giving us time.”

Suzaku’s smile changed into something bittersweet, his emeralds trained on the surface of the mattress they were resting on.

“Funny, isn’t it? It was your job first, then mine and today it’s C.C.’s responsibly, huh?”

“I don’t find anything funny about it,” Lelouch said curtly, his whole body tensed up.

Here it is. The endless abyss that they have between each other and that will always be there until they both work towards filling it with some ground upon which they can walk on.

“I wanna ask, Lelouch..” he started quietly their long discussion, “are you staying? Or.. did you decide to mess with all our feelings just because you missed us or whatever and then disappear again?” his voice was soaked with sadness and some type of grief that was hard to describe.

It was grief over someone who hasn’t died. But it was still painful.

Ex-emperor was so sure that he knew answers to everything that Suzaku wants to ask, yet he finds himself short of words. Again.

Suzaku will always be the most unpredictable thing in his life and it’s about time to finally accept it.

In his core, Lelouch wanted to stay. Wanted to stay forever and help them in their daily lives somehow. 

But can he? Doesn’t it cancel out everything that he was trying to achieve?

He suddenly felt a warm hand on his palm, squeezing a little.

That made him look into Suzaku’s forest eyes that were full of openness and acceptance.

He missed this look from him _so much_. He thought he won’t ever deserve it anymore.

“Answer by your heart. Not by whatever your brain is telling you that you **should** answer.”

Lelouch didn’t expect it himself, but he started feeling his lower lip quivering and suddenly hot, salty tears started falling down his cheeks, as if someone destroyed a dam inside his chest that let out everything he’s been holding in, without even realising it.

“Hey,” said softly Suzaku and just embraced him, as now the other one of the pair was bawling their eyes out.

Their relationship always stood on the mutuality. 

Mutual acceptance, hatred, drive for their goals, love, trust, understanding, miscommunication. All of that was always reciprocated.

“I...” Lelouch finally mumbled into Suzaku’s shoulder, “I’d like to stay... If you allow me to.”

At that moment Suzaku felt like.. the precipice they were constantly falling into together had disappeared, leaving them standing in the white nothingness where there was only him and Lelouch.

He had bowed his head in front of him again. And asked for acceptance. Again.

But now the circumstances are different and Suzaku also understood so much more about him, why his best friend did.. almost everything.

Now was the time to make things better. He didn’t even think that this possibility will come around, but... here it is. 

“What if I don’t?..” whispered Suzaku, opening his eyes ever so slightly, looking somewhere behind them on the wall, which was painted in yellow colours of the falling sunlight on the surface.

He felt his friend flinch in his arms, shakiness of his fragile body coming back, hands gripping his back tighter.

“Then I shall leave..” Lelouch answered just as quietly, gritting his teeth.

He didn’t even ask him why he’d say that. Nor tried to change his opinion.

Now Suzaku was certain - Lelouch’s intentions were pure. 

An ink-haired man already wanted to pull away, but the Japanese held him closer to himself, not willing to let go.

“No. Please, stay,” he said, making Lelouch’s muscles relax again, falling back into his touch.

Both of them had no idea how much time had passed while they were still embraced this way, eventually dozing off to a nap in each other’s arms, bodies gently hitting the pillows behind them.

Lelouch was a light sleeper so any small sound could wake him up.

He opened his eyes lazily, only to find out a calm, resting face of Suzaku underneath himself, his hand wrapped around his waist.

He bit his lower lip and gave the whole situation with a kiss and everything some thought, but it was making him feel extremely confused and embarrassed, so he just shook his head and carefully set himself free, putting Kururugi’s hand on his stomach, leaving him on the bed.

He checked the time on his phone, realising it’s time when he planned to swap roles with C.C.

Lelouch made it to the room in front of the one they were staying in, and once he opened the door, he saw his green-haired companion standing next to the window, looking outside.

“Finally,” she said, not even turning to him, “ the suit is on the bed,” his amethyst eyes followed her hand that she extended towards the sleeping place and saw the Zero costume.

Ex-emperor wasn’t wasting time and got changed into it, while the witch was still looking at something outside of the window.

“So what now? Are we parting ways?” after that she finally turned to face her partner in crime, face unreadable.

Lelouch stopped in the process of putting on the mask in order to have a normal conversation with her, like a human being.

“It’s up to you. But I won’t be returning to the village,” he said in a serious tone.

“You really are unpredictable, huh?” her lips formed a sad smile, olive eyes not leaving his face.

Maybe Lelouch was to C.C. what Suzaku was to him. That one piece of unpredictability that always kept him on his toes and made him feel alive.

“You can stay here, in the palace. It’s not like I’ll be spending time only with the two of them now. They still have things to do, unlike us who are dead to everybody,” he continued, stepping closer to her.

“Maybe I can try staying with you here. For a while, at least,” she stepped closer to him as well, her arms hugging him around the neck, “Twists of fate are so funny sometimes. I spent so much time in this very palace, watching over you and your sister from the distance for so long and now we’re here again.”

Lelouch just leaned down towards her, pulling the green-haired girl into a hug.

“Let’s both try and move forward, okay? And you can always count that I will be on your side.”

Lelouch didn’t see her face, but it broke into a wobbly smile, a single tear escaping her eye as she hugged him tighter.

.

.

Lelouch made his way as Zero into the Black Knights headquarters, rushing right towards “his” private office, unlocking the door.

He really owes some people an explanation. And one of them was Kallen.

She was laying on the couch, biting her nails as she heard the door open and basically launched herself onto Zero.

“You fucking bitch!” she yelled and slammed his body into the wall, extending both of her hands to the wall so she had Zero in a trap with no route to escape.

“What happened to Suzaku? And Lelouch?! I bet he isn’t dead, huh! Answer me,” she started demanding and Lelouch just sighed, taking off his mask.

When Kallen met his amethyst eyes, her hands left his sides and she took a few steps back, eyes wide.

“I bet he isn’t, Kallen,” he said and smirked at her.

“How is this possible?..” she whispered, slowly covering her mouth with her hands on instinct.

“I can’t really say, but..” he grew more serious, continuing, “ I thought that I owe you an apology. And an explanation, of sorts.”

They then sat down in the office and after Kallen a few times touching his face in order to “make sure he’s real” and Lelouch having to re-explain her some points in the story he was telling her, he told her everything about Nunnally using geass onto everyone who listened to the broadcast and that’s why the majority of the population won’t remember his face now.

“I’ll be staying at the royal palace for the time being, so... I guess you can see me whenever you want if you... want,” he ended clumsily, shrugging and clearing his throat.

“Huh...” she said, looking still pretty shaken, “and there’s no.. no greater plan? No bigger show to make? You’re just inviting me as a friend?”

Lelouch paused for a second, slight surprise appearing on his face.

Of course, everyone outside of his close circle of three friends must’ve thought that he’s a conman until the end of his life, huh?

“Yes, Kallen. No more shows or plans. It’s finally over,” he assured her and smiled at her a little, not sure if it’s appropriate in the situation.

She blinked a few times, seeming so drained out of energy, but then just sighed in relief and closed the distance between them, pulling her friend and ex-leader into a hug.

“Good. Fucking finally, Lelouch,” she was smiling and not letting him go for at least good five minutes until they heard a cleaning team come to their evening shift, rattling with their sanitisation equipment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of hugs in this chapter, huh?  
> from this point onwards it will be resolving more around lelouch's and suzaku's relationship? not necessarily romantic at first, but we will get there, maybe :D  
> will keep you on your toes, dear readers.
> 
> honestly i didn't even plan to make them have a kiss so early but sometimes the plot just writes itself and i think that it was quite appropriate, after all.
> 
> please feel free to leave any kind of feedback, I'm reading through everything I'm getting! have a lovely day <3

**Author's Note:**

> this year im participating in nanowrimo and i since i got into code geass a few months ago again, most of my works are for this fandom.  
> all of my previous works are published on my writing tumblr samwritesforyou.tumblr.com and this fic is posted there too, on the link:  
> samwritesforyou.tumblr.com/post/635438578991792128/can-the-sinner-get-a-happy-ending  
> but i decided it would be better to post it here because its getting kinda long now
> 
> also if you're interested in my "original" fanfic from 2013 it can be read there, but its only in Russian, because back then i didn't know english very well yet :D  
> https://ficbook.net/readfic/499203
> 
> please leave kudos and replies, its very appreciated <3 have a great day!


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